The Oligarch’s Cookbook: BoJoPoCo

In advance of the inevitable trainwreck of elections on Ol’ Blighty, we present a brief recipe for BoJoPoCo. Be forewarned that this snack makes a lot of noise, is not very filling, and goes stale fast. Best accompanied by a decent feature-length film, or a public parachute jump to distract from hulls in teeth and greasy mouthfeel.

2 T. public opinion

½ c. BoJoPoCo

1 t. publicity

¼ c. strategy

Place strategy in small saucepan over low heat until it has fully dissolved.

Place a large black pot with lid on medium flame. Pour the public opinion into the pot and let heat until the London fog sizzles. 

Note black kettle on hob and remind it that it’s black.

Back to the public opinion. Pay attention, you gnat! Pour the BoJoCorn into the pot and replace lid.

BoJo will being to snap and pop in less than a minute. His noise will become deafening, then quickly taper to a hiss. Do not try to talk to anyone in the room when the noise level is high. Wait for the hissing to begin before you resume your conversation. The hiss will soon die down completely.

Salt with 1 teaspoon of publicity, then drizzle the dissolved strategy over the BoJoPoCo.

Inspect pot for remnant unpopped kernels that are black and shriveled in color, like a collection of tiny scheming hearts.

Brexit is only mostly dead.