The Oligarch’s Cookbook: Resignation Tenders

Pride goeth before a fall. Here’s a brief imagining of how I would like to see certain administration officials tender their resignation, and what that might look like.

Note: imagining is purely metaphorical.

Risultati immagini per tar and feather

INGREDIENTS

12 resignation tenders, rinsed and patted dry

Salt and pepper to taste

3 cups tar

5 c. very fine white feathers

Useless protestation

Public opinion for frying

Examine the resignation tenders. They should be fresh, pale, and flaccid. If there be a foul smell about them, discard them immediately and place in the trash. Salt and pepper to taste.

Heat the tar in an old saucepan. Beat it until foamy. Dredge the tenders in the hot tar until well coated.

Place the feathers in a large, shallow bowl. Pat the tenders in the feathers until all feathers adhere to the tenders.

Place the public opinion in a pan over a high flame until it crackles angrily when a drop of water (a crocodile tear works well) is flicked onto its surface. Place each tarred and feathered tender in the public opinion and fry until well-done. 

Garnish with a side of useless protestation and serve on melting plastic plate in a prison. The only freedom in your life from now on will be freedom from Wi-Fi.