Sharp Monica

An honest voice in Italian paradise.

The Oligarch’s Cookbook: Farage Sauce

Liberally ladle this cloying sauce over any prepared dish to immediately ruin it. 

Farage Sauce


½ c. cowardice 

2 T. German ancestry

1 t. halitosis

¼ t. overt racism

½ t. lies

¼ t. global mobility

¼ t. hypocrisy

¼ t. dementia 

Combine the cowardice, German ancestry, halitosis, overt racism, lies, global mobility, and hypocrisy together in a saucepan on medium flame. (Under no circumstances should you share the global mobility.) Bring to a boil and cook until putrid, about 55 years. Add the dementia at the end so that no one remembers what the ingredients were. Shout at the sauce so that it understands you. Cool to campaign temperature. 

Advertise on the sides of buses, with the flagrantly posited lie that it will make everything taste better.

Continue to state to anyone listening whilst you ruin their meal that Farage Sauce is the patriot’s sauce of choice.

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